Don't Move, Don't Breathe
by silverphoenix00
Summary: Arthur Kirkland and Alfred F. Jones are two Youtubers on a completely different spectrum. Arthur and his two friends, Lukas and Vladimir, investigate paranormal occurrences. Alfred plays video games. But how will Alfred react when Arthur tricks him into joining them on an investigation?


Arthur Kirkland had his first paranormal experience when he was seven. He'd been staying over at a friends house when he'd awoke late in the night to a shadowy figure looming over him, stock still and outlined in the light of the full moon. When he was ten, Arthur took a field trip with his class to the British Museum in London and heard haunting whispers of the long dead. When he was twelve, Arthur caught a whiff of his mother's perfume while visiting her grave on the anniversary of her passing. Arthur Kirkland had a long, and rather scary, past with the paranormal that could've easily driven anyone mad. But Arthur Kirkland certainly wasn't mad, a relieving revelation that came when Arthur met two of his best friends Lukas Bondevik and Vladimir Popescu, who were quick to confirm that they had similar experiences. So, naturally, they did what anybody would do when they felt like they'd been wronged by the world and wanted to prove it but had a low budget - they started a YouTube channel.

Now, ten years and twelve million subscribers later, Arthur could easily say he loved the life he was leading. The three angsty teenagers who started a YouTube channel all of those years ago had branched out, delving deep into the worlds mysteries and making sure that the work they did was respectable and scholarly. Long gone were the days of sneaking into cemeteries under the cover of night or hiking through forests with nothing but flashlights and night vision to guide them, well for the most part at least.

The trio certainly wasn't beyond late night adventures, like, for example, the one they were about to embark on. Arthur had just received an email from the owner of what had to be the last legitimately haunted site that they hadn't visited in the UK. The Skirrid Mountain Inn in Llanfihangel Crucorney, Wales was not only said to be the oldest pub in Wales, but the center rallying point of Welsh Rebels during the Welsh Revolt. The Inn also claimed to have acted as a Court House on the first floor, where many criminals had been tried and punished for their crimes. Though there wasn't anything to confirm the claims, there was no doubt that the Inn was haunted. Stories of hanging figures, strange noises, and violently closing doors had earned the pub the title of 'Most Haunted' several years running and had caught the eye of several ghost hunting groups, including Arthur, Lukas, and Vlad.

Arthur, however, had been brewing an absolutely brilliant plan to add a little spice to the future video series - and it all revolved around his boyfriend, Alfred. Now, there was no way in hell Arthur would be able to convince Alfred to join him, Lukas, and Vlad in an overnight lockdown taking place in a haunted pub, but Alfred didn't have to know that. All Arthur would have to do is convince Alfred to go on a little weekend holiday. Lukas and Vlad could simply meet them there and Alfred would be none the wiser. It was a perfect plan and Arthur's revenge for all of the stupid pranks Alfred had pulled on him. Plus, people had been looking for a collaboration between The Magic Trio channel and Alfred's gaming channel (Freedom'76, God Arthur cringed at the thought) for a long time, now they had a perfect reason.

Alfred just...didn't know it yet.

Karma was indeed a bitch.

Right now, however, Alfred was caught up in recording some new game that had recently release. Arthur didn't know the name of it, but Alfred had sworn by it before he'd held himself up in his recording room for nine hours straight. He hadn't come out since, not even to eat, which concerned Arthur a little because if there was one thing Alfred loved more than video games, it was food. Nevertheless, there was nothing Arthur could do until Alfred decided to show his face again, knowing better than to disturb a recording session.

So Arthur waited...and waited...and waited until Alfred finally reappeared from his gaming binge, supposedly to eat something. Arthur himself had taken to curling up in an armchair next to the fireplace, ingraining himself in a book to pass the time. He almost hadn't noticed Alfred's presence until he heard the soft sound of the refrigerator closing. It was enough to pull Arthur out of his book and remind himself of what exactly he'd been doing.

"Nice to see you again," Arthur teasingly, closing his book and watching as his boyfriend sat on the couch across from him and chowed down on a bowl of late night cereal. Alfred sent him a tight smile, trying to keep all the cereal in his puffed cheeks. At the gesture, Arthur shook his head and fought off a chuckle, he couldn't let Alfred know that he had actually found that endearing or he would never hear the end of it. "I actually have something to talk to you about."

Alfred swallowed the mouthful of cereal and looked at him curiously, obviously intrigued by whatever Arthur had to say, "Oh?"

"So," Arthur began slowly, feeling a jitter of nerves run through him. Why was he feeling nervous? He was only tricking his boyfriend into investigating a haunted inn several hours away. No biggie. "I was thinking. What do you think about us taking a vacation?"

Alfred's eyes widened almost instantly, his spoonful of Lucky Charms stopped halfway to his mouth.

"A vacation?" Alfred repeated dumbly, almost not believing that the words had even come out of Arthur's mouth. Arthur hadn't thought he was a workaholic, but Alfred had mentioned something about it several times. Maybe that's why he looked so surprised that Arthur was proposing a 'vacation'.

"Yeah, a vacation," Arthur simply repeated back, nodding his head for emphasis. "Just for the weekend, of course, we can't be away for too long."

"Okay," Alfred agreed, though the hesitance could be heard in the slow draw of his voice. "Where were you thinking?"

Arthur couldn't stop himself from grinning. "I was thinking Wales."

Arthur couldn't tell if Alfred actually suspected anything. He'd acted normal, for the most part, and had so far blogged their entire trip. He'd caught nearly everything from packing, to getting into the car, to filming obscure shots of the English countryside that would probably be accompanied with some clique montage music in the final edit of the video. Long story short, he was excited, which left Arthur to drive the whole three hour leg to the Inn. He supposed that worked in his favor since they weren't actually going to Cardiff, which is ultimately where the couple had decided on the night before.

Perhaps, after their overnight investigation, Arthur and Alfred could actually take a trip to Cardiff. The Inn was only about forty-five minutes north of Cardiff, so the drive wouldn't be too horrible. That was assuming that Arthur and Alfred's relationship survived the night. Or that Alfred wasn't too traumatized to do anything but cling to Arthur and cry. He'd seen Alfred watch horror movies and be reduced to a shaking leaf. It was amusing in the moment to watch him become terrified at something that wasn't even considered horror; it was significantly less amusing when Alfred couldn't sleep that night and had insisted Arthur stay up with him so that no one could break into their house and murder them in their sleep. They never watched Criminal Minds after that.

Arthur was beginning to forget why bringing Alfred to an investigation was a good idea. God, Alfred would probably keep him up for the next couple weeks easily, whether out of spite or out of genuine fear. He wouldn't really put it past Alfred either.

Whatever the case, Arthur and Alfred were well into their weekend 'vacation' and the secret was soon to be spilled. They were now only a couple of minutes away from the Cardiff exit and Alfred would definitely notice when they went the other way. Not that it mattered very much. Alfred was already in the car, so he didn't really have much of a choice anymore.

"Arthur?" Alfred asked curiously when he clearly missed the exit for Cardiff. Arthur could feel Alfred's eyes burning into him. "You missed the exit…"

"I know…" Arthur managed to respond, biting on his tongue and preparing himself for the inevitable 'fallout'.

"We're...we're not going to Cardiff, are we?"

"Nope."

"Oh God dammit," Alfred moaned. Out of the corner of his eyes, Arthur could see Alfred cover his face with his hands, probably with dread. Arthur should've felt bad about the surge of satisfaction that swelled in him. Should've. But didn't. Arthur couldn't hold back a laugh as Alfred drug his hands down his face, "Do I wanna know where we're actually going?"

This time Arthur really couldn't stop his smile from growing. It was wolfish, almost predatorial, and it made Alfred uneasy. He was just expecting a nice vacation with his boyfriend. Now he expected the worst.

"The Skirrid Mountain Inn," Arthur said smugly, knowing that Alfred probably had no idea what that meant or what the Inn held for them.

A look of absolute confusion crossed Alfred's face, the pieces not quite falling into place. "We're going to an inn? Why lie about Cardiff then?"

Arthur managed to glance over at Alfred, who stared at him with his head cocked to the side. The comparison between his boyfriend and a curious puppy was absolutely hilarious, and true, in that moment. "Lukas and Vlad are meeting us there."

Alfred's eyes widened at Arthur's words, confusion turning into horrified clarity.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…" Alfred began, panic already building in his voice. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it's turning into."

Arthur could only chuckle at Alfred's reaction.

"Arthur..." he whined.

"Oh come on Alfred," Arthur teased lightly, trying, and failing, to hide his amusement. Alfred had once joked that Arthur was sadistic and maybe, just maybe, he'd been a little right. "It's only one night. Where is that big, strong hero you are always claiming to be?"

"Arthur, this isn't funny."

"For you, maybe."

True to their words, Lukas and Vlad were waiting for them in the Lobby of the Inn. Lukas had taken to lounging on one of the couches, scrolling through something on his phone and looking generally uninterested in whatever he saw. Vlad was right in the middle of unloading their filming equipment, smiling widely and waving vigorously when Arthur pulled into the parking lot. Alfred had taken to rubbing his face with his hands, probably to try and avoid the fact that he was about to face his worst fear thanks to his boyfriend. It was probably fine.

As soon as he put the car in park, Arthur turned to Alfred and truly looked at him for the first time. He looked pale, paler than usual, and for the first time since he'd put his plan in action, Arthur was genuinely worried for Alfred. All jokes and revenge aside, this trip, this investigation, was supposed to bring them closer together and give Alfred a glimpse into what he experienced in his everyday life. He didn't want to scar Alfred for life.

"Hey," Arthur eventually said after a long stretch of silence. Alfred pulled himself away from his hands, his tongue clicking in his mouth. Arthur couldn't really tell if he was annoyed or terrified. Maybe both. Arthur reached across the car and took Alfred's hand in his own, looking at him in complete seriousness in attempt to calm Alfred's nerves. "You know I won't let anything happen to you, right?"

There was another long stretch of silence before Alfred looked back at Arthur and nodded, determination burning deep in his eyes. "Of course."

The confidence in Alfred's voice made Arthur smile, warmth blooming in his chest. Alfred trusted Arthur just as much as Arthur trusted Alfred, there was no doubt about that. Arthur gave Alfred's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I love you."

Alfred's face split into a wide, blinding grin. "I love you too."

* * *

This was written for the usukustwiceperyear's event for the theme Alternate Careers. I chose YouTuber's because I may (or may not have) been binging YouTube lately, which resulted in the inspiration for Arthur 'surprising' Alfred. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed!


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